Dissatisfaction
by sugahcat
Summary: When Souma and Kurogane first meet, she tries to teach him something about the nature of love.


So. Yeah. This is the first time Kurogane meets Souma. Not having read RG Veda I don't really know her character so I hope this isn't too OoC for her. Or for Kurogane, for that matter. 

Disclaimer:All characters belong to CLAMP and not me :P

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Dissatisfaction  
sugahcat 

The first time Kurogane heard that he was to be joined by another ninja, his eyes had narrowed. He did not see why Princess Tomoyo needed another ninja and took it as a personal insult. When he had asked Tomoyo about this, she had just laughed softly.

"Don't be silly, Kurogane. It isn't because you're not good enough. But," she had said, with a little sadness in her eyes. "I think it would be nice to have a woman around, don't you?"

Kurogane hadn't understood and just looked at the Princess blankly. Most women just irritated him, especially the ones in the castle and he didn't see why having one more would be 'nice'.

It didn't matter. If Tomoyo had decided that she wanted another ninja, whatever the reason, he would put up with it. That didn't mean he had to be happy about it, though.

When he had first met Souma, he had been surprised and instantly attracted to her. She was sexy and yet had a softness to her, a gentleness that he found a strange thing in a ninja. Her weapon of choice was a sort of throwing knife in the shape of a moon and he supposed that it would be a good compliment to his close-range weapon.

As they were introduced he saw that Souma was sizing him up as well and saw her nod, seemingly satisfied. He looked at her, a question on the tip of his tongue, but he was interrupted by Tomoyo. No matter. He would find an opportunity to talk to this new ninja another time.

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A few nights later he found Souma standing on the edge of the grounds of Shirasaki castle, wearing a pretty yukata and reaching out to softly touch a delicate-looking flower. 

"You waiting for someone?" Kurogane asked, stopping a reasonable distance from her.

She turned, dark eyes widening, then seeing it was him she smiled.

"No. I just... wanted to have a walk around. It's such a lovely night."

Kurogane frowned. What did it matter what sort of night it was?

She smiled again. "You're an interesting one, Kurogane-san."

"Am I?" He didn't like the way she said that.

"Hmmm. You... You're very angry, aren't you? At the world. And... at me, I think."

Kurogane looked aside, annoyed that she'd been attentive enough to notice, that he'd been foolish enough to show it.

"Why is that?" She asked.

"I've protected Tomoyo well enough. I don't see why she needs you."

"Oh!" Souma laughed lightly. "I see. You're jealous."

"I didn't say that!"

"And you have a temper, too."

"Shut up!" He snapped, but she just laughed and approached him. He stood straight, slightly wary of her. Souma's face was serious as she stood before him.

"Please, don't see me as a rival. We should work together to protect the princess." She lay her slim hand against his bare arm and he was reminded of his attraction for her. She looked up at him and cocked her head slightly. "You're very handsome, Kurogane-san," she said softly. He stared down at her and she stared right back. Knowing that his attraction was returned made his mind up. There was no point in putting something off if they both felt the same way. Leaning down, he kissed her roughly and she returned it with equal desire, throwing her arms around his neck.

They managed to make their way back to his rooms before throwing their clothes off and giving into their passion. Afterward, as Souma was getting dressed, she smiled at him a little sadly.

"That was wonderful, Kurogane-san."

"But it wasn't right, was it? It didn't feel right."

"No. I - perhaps both of us - are too old for this sort of thing. I want more from a relationship and I know that isn't something we could find in each other."

Kurogane looked at her, frowning. He knew what she was saying was true. He felt nothing for her but attraction, and the fact that he was a ninja meant that he didn't want anything more from a relationship. Plus, caring for someone like she was suggesting was a weakness and weakness was something he despised. He had no intention of giving his heart to anyone. This sense of dissatisfaction and a longing for something more would just have to be ignored.

"I know what you're thinking," Souma said as she tied her obi. "You're thinking that you don't want a relationship with someone."

He glared at her for guessing his thoughts so accurately. "So?"

"Nothing, really. I just think it would be very sad if you never fall in love." She sat on the futon beside him and cupped his cheek. "Somewhere out there is someone just for you. When you meet them, you won't have any choice but to care for them. You might not know it straight away, but you'll come realise that they mean more to you than you might want them to."

"What makes you such an expert?"

She laughed. "Oh, I'm not an expert, far from it. But, I know this is the truth. And one day, so will you. And it's not a bad thing."

Kurogane scowled at her. She was talking romantic rubbish.

Souma sighed and shook her head, seeing she wasn't getting through to him. "Thank you for a nice night, Kurogane-san. I don't think we should do this again."

"No."

"But thank you, nonetheless." She paused as she reached the door. "I truly hope we can make a good team. I would like to protect Princess Tomoyo, very much..." Her voice trailed off and the look in her eyes just then made Kurogane think that perhaps Souma had found the 'someone just for her' and wondered if she'd realised it yet. "Goodnight."

"'Night." The door shut behind her and Kurogane laid back and growled. Sleeping with someone as skilled in the bedroom as Souma had always been pleasurable and tonight was no exception. But this new feeling of dissatisfaction and a desire for something more than mere physical pleasure - something more than he had felt with Souma - disconcerted him. He didn't want a romantic involvement with anyone. To hell with Souma's ideas of not having any choice about it. He was a ninja. His duty was to Princess Tomoyo and any relationship would just get in the way of that. And whatever Souma thought about it being a pity if he never fell in love, she was wrong. He had no intention of doing so, with anyone, but some small part of him couldn't help but wonder if perhaps somewhere there really was 'someone just for him' and if he would ever meet them.

Rolling his eyes at himself he closed his eyes and fell into an uneasy sleep and woke feeling a longing for something he couldn't define. Laying there for a moment he stared at the ceiling, remembering everything Souma had said. Shaking his head, he stood and dressed. Even if there was 'someone just for him', even if he ever met them, it wouldn't make any difference. He was a ninja. That was who he was. As such he didn't have the time or inclination for such things. Slipping Ginryuu into his belt and looking into the small mirror he had, he nodded. Things were as they should be. He was as he should be. Alone. His eyes closed for a moment as that thought caused his heart to ache, but he clenched his teeth and pushed the feeling away. This was how he wanted to be. Stalking out of his rooms, he managed to convince himself of this and the thought of having 'someone just for him' was pushed away where it wouldn't bother him anymore. At least, until he met them.

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AN:You all know who Kuro-pi's 'someone just for him' is, right? wink 

Please, C&C is always appreciated and it really doesn't take long... thanks for reading.


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